written on Saturday, Jan. 03, 2015 at
My husband is cheating.
And I don't know what to do. I mean, I know what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to leave him. File for divorce. Hate him.
But I don't want to do any of that. I don't know why, but I don't. I don't want to get divorced. I want to stay married. Happily married. Is that even possible?
He left. About 3 weeks ago. Right before Xmas. I was heart broken. Still am. Why? Why would you cheat? Leave? Act like
You don't care about me at all. I don't get it.
We see each other almost everyday. He tells me he loves me. He denies cheating. But I know better. I know him. Almost better than he knows himself. I know his behaviors, patterns. That's what he doesn't get. I know what his actions mean. And this time, he's not willing to let her go. So I feel like that leaves me with no choice but to let him go. To end this marriage. To move on. But I don't want to. I want to stay. To fight. To fix this. To find a way to be the woman he wants. To find a way to be better than her. But I don't know how. And it's driving me crazy.