B and I have been fighting pretty bad. Sat night was the worst its been in a long time. I said alot of mean things. Partly to hurt him and partly b/c I had been thinking those bad things for along time. At any rate, I shouldnt have said them. I should have just let all my feelings out here. Shame on me for not having the internet at home.

So, we are broken up (yes, again) I told my dad I wanted to move home. He said whenever Im ready. Although I have been having the feelings of impowerment and freedom, I must admit, I am feeling sad that this 5 year journey has come to an end yet again. Its very depressing to see something that you have worked so hard on for so long crumble at your feet. I think of the begining when everything was wonderful and miss those days. I wish there was a way to get them back but I know they are gone forever.

Why cant things just go my way? Just for once, I would like to see something that I am a part of succeed...