I had "ex-sex" this weekend. Afer the fireworks B and I went to the apartment and had Chineese food. We just kind of hung out. He had to keep going to his mothers house because someone kept calling the cops on them. Anyway, I ended up leaving and coming home. I couldnt sleep so I called him at like 2:30 in the moring and went back over there. I was crying to him on the phone. I all of a sudden had this horrible panic attack over what I was going to do with my life now that I wasnt with him.

I got to the apartment and he hed me as I cried. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex. It was good. Better than it had been in a long time. There was actually emotion tied to it and it hasnt been like that in forever.

I went to a cookout today and then back to the apartment. We fooled aroung a little and now Im home. I'm ot sure if I made a huge mistake or not. I love him, I know I do. But that doesnt mean that we are meant to be.

Gav met Matt at the company cookout on Friday. It turns out that she actually cleans his teeth. She thinks he is cute and she was asking about him all night. She wants Andy, Matt, her and I to all hang out sometime. I said okay but now that all this has happened with B... I dont know. Here I go again I guess.

Oh yeah, thought I would mention that Eric barely even looked at me at the cookout. I got mre attention from Andy and Matt, which was okay but it would hve been nice if it were from Eric too. Oh well though right?