I told my mom how I want to move home. She is fine with it. Now I just have to tell B. Im sad about the whole thing. 5 years is a a long time to be with one person and to see it end... well its just sad and hard to understand. I love him, I know I do, I guess sometimes love isnt enough. I know that I want more than he is giving me even though I know he love me.

At the same time I know staying wont make it any easier. We just have to realize that its over and no ammount of "sticking with it" will make things any better.

I dont understand. In the begining he was perfect, affectionate, attentive, all the things that are so important to me. The things I need to emotionaly survive. Now it seems as though my... sanity isnt as important to him as it used to be, as important as it needs to be...