Once again, the servers are all tied up, so I am forced to write this entry in Word�.

I had a long but eye opening conversation with Gav tonight. Its funny how individual and isolated you can feel when going through a breakup, but talking to her made me realize that my situation is'nt all that unique.

We relate well when it comes to relationships, her and I. My last being 5 years and hers being 8. Both were guys that we had completely fallen for while still in high school and allowed them to consume most of our thoughts through out. She said some things tonight that made me realize that all of this, all this drama and emotional crap that I am going through is for the best.

We spoke of past memories that we had with our loves. How there were times that we felt needed and loved and how all that has somehow vanished. Where did it go? What happened? Have I really changed that much as a person that I am no longer deserving those feelings I was once getting? Or is it him that has changed? Taken it, me, for granted� I don�t know the answer.

I find it ironic how we can speak to each other and vent. Really let our darkest, deepest, most selfish feelings out and feel okay with it because its only us. She gives me advise on B and I give her advise for Ray. The funny thing is that we are saying the same things. Its almost like we should be following our own advise, but cant because its just that-our own. Its like we need to hear it from someone else before its valid.

I feel grateful to have her as a friend. She is truly one of the best out there.

On another note� I had a really good conversation with a girl that I work with today. She is supper nice and just very easy to talk to. We talked about everything from work to boys to movies� even this journal. I told her how to find my journal if she ever wants to read it. Surprising, I know. I write some pretty personal stuff in here sometimes (sometimes its just crap) and to know that someone that I know outside of the internet world could potentially be reading my thoughts� scary in a way, but in a way I�m okay with it. I look at it as a way for her to get to know me better and I want that. She is definitely someone that I would like to be friends with � and we all know how picky I am about who I surround myself with�

Well, T minus 4 minutes and counting before the Real World starts so I�m going to grab a Kahula Mudslide head off now. Lauren if you read this � we should hang out sometime!