Last night I watched Bridget Jones' Diary. It was really good. I have to admit though, I jealous of her journal. Why cant mine be as fun and entertaining as hers. She is a lucky lady. Not so much in what she went through but the fact that she had so much fun keeping track of it in her own little way; it would just be nice to have that ability, that�s all.

You know when girls are little all they want to do is grow up and marry a rich guy? You know the dream where he works all day and you get to stay home and spend the money? Well, I�m finding myself having that dream again. I really hate my job. Not the tasks that are given to me, I like that, but just the way the company is run I guess. I�m just not happy here. If any of you readers out there have jobs open in the Northern Mass/ Southern NH area let me know. Post a message or something. I�m dying over here!

I didn�t speak to B at all yesterday. I was going to call him but Gav called me and I was talking to her about the whole situation and she told me not to call him. If he wanted to talk he would call. I hope she was right, that�s all I�m gonna say� I know I�m pretty sad right now because of it.

There is a company cookout here on Friday. I was thinking about going but it depends on who else is. I told Gav about it. I would hate to drag her here though and it suck. I don�t want to ruin her Friday night. That�s not cool. I thought it would be fun for me, her, Matt, and Eric to all hang out and do something after. I don�t know if I could pull it all off and I don�t know what is going on with B and I so I guess that will never happen.

That�s why I wish he could just tell me how he feels. I know he hates talking about that stuff but I could be having some serious fun and I�m not because of him. I guess it�s more my fault isn�t it? I don�t have to wait for him. I just am, and part of me wants to. Nobody wants to see a 5 year relationship end. I love him I know that, I just wish we were more couple-ish. I don�t know. Im just pouting and feeling sorry for myself now.