Okay, so I have just decided to let this whole Matt thing go. It wasstupid of me to even think something might come of it, even if we were just friends. I just dont see it happening. We are totally different people. I was stupid for thinking that he may actually like me. If he finds Lindsey as attractive as he does what in the world would give me the impression that he may feel something for me. Lindsey and I look completely different, she being on the pretty end. I dont know. Just another thing to make me feel bad about myself. At the same time though, it makes me want to get back in the gym and lose all this weght Ive gained and get back to the normal me. I know one thing that will help me do that is to move back home. Not this weekend but next weekend I am going to do it. I should tell Bobby that so it doesnt catch him by surprise but I have made up my mind and I am just going to do it.

It is scary for me though, especially since Gav has found Gary. It is quite possible that I will have many a night alone with nothing to do and no one to talk to. That is not my idea of fun. Matt keeps telling me to go to school. Move home, quit my job and go to school... I dont see it happening but you never know.