Well, Bobby is supose to be clling me at work today on his lunch break.I am nervous and excited at the same time, I realy hope we have a good conversation. I want him to miss me the way I miss him. I know we still have to give it some time though. If we dont take time to figure out who our individual selves are we will never be able to make "us" work. I can see that now. As sad as it makes me I know its true. I just really hope that everything works out. Just like I told Erin the other night. I love him with all my heart. I want to be the last person he loves because I know he will be the last that I love. I dont want to be with or think about anyone else... ever. I just want to live a happy life with him. He means the world to me. I would do anything for him and he knows that. I dont know what made him change his mind and want totlak to me. I dont know if was me being nice to him, or what his mother said to him about the kids.... All I know is that I am greatful for whatever it was that brought on his change of heart.

I keep having thoughts about what our conversation is going to be like. I have been trying to think of things to talk about. i dont want there to be this akward silence between us. I want everything to click. I want it to be nice and open and friendly. I want him to get that warm, comfy feeling. I dont know why I am stressing out like this. I just dont want anything to go wrong. I want the conversation to end with im thinking that he misses me and he wants to see me. I am praying for that! I had a dream the other night that he and I went out for dinner with the kids and after dinner we went back to his house. The kids were in the living room and he and I were in the kitchen. I was leanig against the counter next to the fridge and he was opposite me next to the stove. A few nice words were said and he came over to me and kissed me. We hugged and told eachother we loved one another and while we were hugging the kids cae into the kitchen and hugged us too. It was the nicest dream... my only fear is that it wont ever be a reality.