Well, I am supose to be going out to dinner with Sherman tomorrow night. We are going to Chillis. I am more excited about seeing Patrick after though. I think about him alot. Even though we havent talked in like a year I think about him all the time.

At the same time tough, I think about Bobby. I just really dont understand myself sometimes. Why am I so attached to someone who treated me so badly? Im not saying that he was the worst boyfriend anyone could ever have and I did some things that were beyond forgivable but I just... I dont know. I dont know anything anymore. Now that I sit here and really think about everything, I realize that I put him through alot too. Thats probably why he doesnt want to be with me. I was FAR from perfect. Its funny. The more I tried to be the perfect girlfriend for him the further away I was from becoming it.

Tomorrow is going to be fun (I hope.) Sherman and I should have a good time. We get along well. He is a nice guy. Very sweet and conciderate. I am going to have to borrow some money from my parents b/c Erin wants me to go to the gym with her tonight and then I am going to need money for dinner tomorrow (just incase Sherman doesnt want to pay, which I totally understand. I wouldnt want my boyfriend paying for some other girls dinner and I know he has a girlfriend.)

I have spent a conciderable amount of time looking at some grand prix web sites and I have come to the conclusion that I want one... really bad! I think I deserve one. I know my dad is going to try to talk me out of getting it but it just feels right. I can totally picture myself in that car. Then again I should look to the future and realize that it is a very expensiove car and I cant live at home for ever.... I guess I have some thinking to do..... I seem to be doing alot of that lately.

I want to call Bobby so bad right now. I have been fighting it all day. As long as I can get through the rest of the work day without calling I should be OK. Only 2 hours to go!