I found an apartment for myself yesterday. I havent actually seen it yet but I spoke to the landloard. I have to admit Im scared to live on my own, but I know I cant stay with B any longer. Last night I asked him if we were broken up and he said "I would say so. Why?" (Like I was asking if it was ok to go sleep with someone else... ass!) adn I told him I was thinkg about moving and you know what he said? "oh, whatever. Do what you have to do." I think he was happy about it. I wanted to say "You know what, fuck you too, I hate you too." but I left it alone. It was late and I wasnt in the mood for conflict (shocking I know)

Now Im at work tired as ever. I didnt go tothe gym yesterday so I HAVE to go today which makes me not want to go. I hate feeling like I HAVE to do something. It just makes me want to do the opposite.

If I could just go back to the whole moving thing again... I wish I knew if I should get my own place or move back home. Im 23 years old, if I go home Im gonna have to leave eventually, I cantr stay there forever. On the other hand, If I go rent a place, chances are (with my financial situation) I will be renting for the rest of my life. I wish I had a crystal ball or something so I could see into the future... THis whole situation sucks!

Matt (that guy I work with) said that if I had found a 2 bedroom apt he would share it with me. Not that I necessarily want to live with him, not saying that I dont either, but it got me to thinking about having a room mate. I asked Gav (my best friend in the whole world) if she wanted to and she said she would love to but she is so bad with money (I happen to agree with her on that) She could definately afford it with the money she makes, but could NEVER afford it with the money she spends... Oh well ,I guess its home with the parental units or on my own. Decisions, decisions.