I had a horrible night last nigh. B and I are fighting like old times. Mean and hurtful. Once again we're fighting about how his mother runs his life. Its not really about that to me though. Its how it affects me. The truth of the matter is that its not HIS life anymore, its OUR life and I refuse to let someone walk all over me. Im not one to be used and take it lightly. Him on the other hand, he'll take anything from his mom. I just dont know if I can do this for much longer. His family is going to be the death of our relationship.

I was so upset last night that I was up all night crying. I feel like shit now. I dont have the internet at home and I really wanted to write down how I was feeling so I did. The down side? Now I dont feel like repeating my feelings here. I wrote a good four pages (both sides) last night. To steal a line or two from Dashboard Confessionals:

I want to give you

Whatever you need.

What is it you need?

Is it what I need?

I want to give you

Whatever you need.

What is it you need?

Is it with in me?

You're owning up to nothing

and I wish that I was gone,

because you not going anywhere.

That is definately how I feel about him.I want him to start acting like a man, like an adult. Its time he worried about his life and future and stopped owning his mothers responsiblities.

Anyway, I'll probably write more later, right now Im just not in the mood.