So, I�m having one of those days where I don�t know if I�m in love with B or not. One of those days where I keep thinking about another boy, a boy that I work with. A boy that I would love to be with, just once. I wish I didn�t feel like this. Being attracted to this boy makes me feel un-attracted to B. Is that weird? I don�t know, maybe I�m just being stupid. I�m sure as soon as I get home and see B I will feel differently. I should just tell myself that I don�t have a chance with this other boy anyway and let it go.

On another note, I talked to Josh (my boss) about wanting to do something different than receiving manager. I don�t know how happy he was but I spoke to Mary about it and she kind of brought me back to reality and told me that my happiness should be more important to me than keeping Josh happy. It�s true. I just don�t like feeling like I let someone down. I don�t know just the way I am a guess.

I hate to keep bringing this up but I keep thinking about the boy. I wish we could stay on the phone forever. I love the way his voice sounds on the phone. God, I need to snap out of it!

I wish I knew what he felt. I�m sure he feels nothing but I don�t know, I wish he did in a way. In a way I would rather just admire from afar. I�ve been down this road before and it was stressful to say the least. I guess it�s safer to just stick to my day dreams. Can�t get in to much trouble with those, you know?

Bottom line, I guess, is I have a crush. A crush on a guy at work and the last time I followed through on a "coworker crush" the results werent great. Mostly b/c I realized that even though I had a crush on the coworker, I loved B and ended up back with him. Time for me to learn from my mistakes.