I went over Ashleighs house last night and had dinner and then watched the Bachelor... Well I watched most of it but then I went home b/c I was so tired. When I got home I called Nick and we started talking. I was trying to tell him how I feel. For some reason though, I was having a really hard time finding the words to describe it. That NEVER happens to me. I always know how to express myself but for some reason I just couldnt with him. I think its b/c Im not secure in his feelings for me yet. Like I know he loves me but does he love me the way I love him... you know? Im just scared b/c I spent 4 years giving 100% of my love and heart to someone who never had any intention of giving back to me. I dont want that to happen again. Im not saying that Nick is going to do that, its just a fear of mine thatI am going to have to work on overcomming. I jsut wish I knew an easy way to do it.